Become More Fully Yourself
This reflection is part of an ongoing series about how The Comfort Project came to be and what we've learned while supporting people pursuing Medical Aid in Dying in Vermont.
No two Medical Aid in Dying experiences are alike.
Some people want favorite foods, one last smoke, or a swig of whiskey.
Some want music, storytelling, and a room full of people.
Others want open windows, fresh air, silence, or only one familiar hand to hold.
If you've ever wondered what a Medical Aid in Dying experience is "supposed" to look like, the answer is that there is no single template. The people we meet continue to teach us that each person's values, relationships, beliefs, and personality deserve a place at the table.
We've been with a mother who wanted her entire family around her as she took the medication, yet made it crystal clear that once she had died, she released them of any obligation to stay with her body afterward.
We've been with a grandfather whose two-year-old grandson listened to his heartbeat through a toy stethoscope, the adults nearby helping the child understand what was unfolding.
We've been with a medical doctor and her partner as their Buddhist teacher chanted beside them, intentionally bringing their spiritual practice into the dying process and treating death as a sacred passage.
We've been with a woman who had lost her beloved dog months prior and was grieving that loss. As she stayed here for her final two weeks, someone from our team visited her each day, bringing our dog for her to cuddle with. She cried tears of joy from all the doggie love.
When people feel comfortable being fully themselves throughout the Medical Aid in Dying process, something often softens.
The atmosphere changes.
More comfort emerges.
Conversations become more honest.
People say what they actually mean, sometimes for the first time in a very long time.
Perhaps that feels obvious.
Or perhaps it's a relief to hear.
Many people arrive carrying questions about whether there is a "right" way or a "right" time for Medical Aid in Dying.
There is no single approach to death.
There is no "formula" to follow.
We can help clarify questions and illuminate possibilities, but in the end, there is only the inner compass of the dying one.
At The Comfort Project, we believe comfort lives there, in helping people move through the end of life in a way that reflects who they truly are.
Leslie Zucker
Executive Director
The Comfort Project
